Thursday, October 7, 2010
I won't write "This is Spartan" ohh damn. Well okay there it is.
This is an appropriate post number though for what's going on in my life. Life was sucking. Hard. Apparently though it was the proverbially darkness before the dawn. I started my Landmark "Self-Expression & Leadership" course on the 25th of September. That whole week prior I was low. No, lower than that. I really thought I blew it leaving everything behind in FL. I thought coming to TX was the stupidest of the stupid mistakes to date. It was bleak. BLEAK. I won't get into how bleak, but very.
So I almost canceled the course, but the one person I knew who's in it and makes it seem awesome (the number has since grown, but before it was just him) gave me a pep talk about it and actually made it seem exciting so I was eager to start it. I was soooo relieved as I slowly met people that Saturday. They were far more on my wave-length than those I met in the Forum & the Advanced Forum. I met a lady who I really liked and learned she was a coach. I was hoping she was going to be my coach, and because I had to leave early that day I didn't learn until I think it was the next day that she was. ROCK. There was another lady who I really liked and guess what, she also has my coach so it's a little mini-group of us three. Cool!!
Jennifer, our leader, broke down what the next three months were going to bring and I was getting excited. Turns out this was exactly what I needed. Now I knew before hand that there was going to be a community project so that was no surprise. In fact the wheels were turning. I got to thinking about all the things I could do, but I'm supposed to be moved and inspired by it. Well, I was not moved and inspired by much because (See paragraph #1). Well I've wanted to do more with my writing, especially because someone (same person that gave me the pep talk) has been very complimentary of my writing and has put it out there a few times that I should do more with it. Soooo, I got to thinking. I really love to bring people of common interests together. The members of my Food Buddies group can attest to that. So why not writers?
So that's how I came up with Wordsmith Syndicate, which if you've been following a long, you know I started last week. Well I was not 100% sure they were going to pass the project last night and I was about to go full-on Carla. I reigned it in a lot, but I was really ready. REALLY REALLY READY. Fortunately, though it did get approved. I suspect my coach had a lot to do with that. So hurray. I don't have to drop out of the course, because YES that was so going to be what was going to happen. I'm so glad though that's not the case because I have learned A LOT about myself just in the couple sessions I've been in.
I was telling my coach last night, that because of my failed marriage I am petrified to put my heart and soul into anything anymore so I'm just 1/2-assing my life. I was more eloquent than that about it, but that's the size of it pretty much. She and I have coaching calls on Sunday afternoon and the one this past Sunday was HUGE. She really forced me to take a look at myself. I see that I have basically drifted my time here in Austin and as a result I feel (felt I should write) stuck in all aspects of my life.
Well I'm changing that!!!! I'm taking my life back AGAIN. I feel far more upbeat and in harmony with everything.
I don't know where I'll end up, but where ever it is it's going fucking ROCK!!!