Wednesday, March 31, 2010

So I Used to Eat Wood...

I ate the wood off my crib. I ate the fur off my stuffed animals. It looks like someone took an electric razor to them, but nope it was just little ole Car. For years, I thought my father called me "Dynamite". One day I said something about it to my brother and he goes "He's not calling you "Dynamite". He's calling you "TERMITE" (he's Venezuelan so there's the accent and all).

So there you go. Carla Fun Fact.

I never ate a role of toilet paper though. Glue, yes.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010


I don't meet many people that make me ask "How can I be like them?" or really more "How can I be a better version of me?" I wonder what purpose said people (person) would/will serve in my life. Will they remain on the periphery? Will they come to mean something profound to me?

The possibilities excite my imagination and me.

(amazing photo taken from flickr. a girl named Mae. her flickr name is maebeitsme. cute, huh? -- she's not who i'm referring to in this post)

Monday, March 29, 2010

"I'll Buy You One More Frozen Orange Juice...

on This Fantastic Day." Ohhhhh, I was singing this ALL DAY. It was lovely out today. Not that I was really out in it much. I got out for lunch and then went on a walk when I got home. I got a wee bit of sun. It was glorious.

A week from tomorrow my rowing lessons start. I'm getting all nervous. I mean I'm excited, but I'm just nervous if I'll be good at it. I hope I am.

What else? Ohhh, I'm almost 35. Yeah, that's preoccupying my every thought. You know who will be 80 the day after I'm 35? Grandfather. How fun is that? His 80 sort of steals my 35 thunder, but that's okay ; P

Ummmm, ohhhhh. OMG. The most gorgeous wisteria tree (?) is in bloom on Patterson. I talked to the owner of it and he said it's really outdone itself this year. So if you are in the area go down Patterson (I can tell you specifically where I just don't want to write it) and look at it (and smell it). As I told him, it made my whole day.

Today was one of those "the little things made today awesome" days.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Have You Ever...

Seen parts of an iconic film so much that you become convinced you've seen it before? I was certain I had seen "From Here to Eternity". I may have seen bits of it over the years if it happened to be on AMC, but after truly watching it today I can say I never saw the whole film and it was really great.

This weekend was spent entirely on the sofa or in bed. Just didn't have it in me to go out at all (except to Cipollina's to pick up my pizza). This of course gives way to thinking. A LOT of thinking.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Rethinking It All

I'm a Philip Glass fan so I loved, loved, LOVED a doc on his life entitle "GLASS: A Portrait of Philip in 12 Parts". He's such a genius. He was telling about a writer friend of his who writes to escape the chaos of the real world around him. Then he (Glass) asked "Is that escape or is that liberation?" That got me to thinking. I'm sure it's a bit of both, but if it's liberating does it even matter?

His life got me thinking about another thing that's been on my mind a lot lately. He was on his 4th wife and during the making of the doc they split up. I've been reading about several different people lately who are now in their 70's or 80's and they have 3 or more spouses, but were with each a rather long time. I'm intrigued by this since I was the first divorce in my family. I was just bred with the notion that you stick it out until the end and it was very hard on me when that was taken out of my hands by my ex-husband. Having been out of the situation now and seeing that I've blossomed being alone of the last two years, I find my notion of "to death do us part" very much changing. Maybe some couples are only meant for each other for a time. I mean hopefully you are both growing as people and it would be awesome if you are growing in the same direction. Isn't it just as likely that you would not be, and that to stay together is just holding back your growth? I spent 15 yrs in my relationship from beginning to the ultimate end (there were MANY breakups) of me leaving Orlando just to get away from the vicious cycle. Don't get me wrong, I would not be devastated at all if I finally met someone that I was meant to be with until the end. I just question the whole notion of expecting that in your relationship.

So what am I saying, that I'll look back on my life and say I had 5 husbands? God, I hope not, but I am saying that my notion of "forever" is all but gone and it doesn't sadden me like it used to. I have a more positive view of it. One of growing into something different.

(Can I just say that I love that I spend two hours watching a story about a man's life and somehow totally make it about me. I have a real gift for that. ; -P )

Friday, March 26, 2010

St. James Infirmary

So back in Orlando, the latter part of 2007 as I was gearing up for moving here I was rather taken by Oingo Boingo and downloaded a shit load of their stuff to my iPod. My MAC crashed not long before my move and since it took so long to download some of my more obscure mashups and remixes, I have never uploaded the iPod to the revamped laptop nor the new desktop as I'd lose every thing. I find my iPod to be quite the little time capsule of the the last year and a 1/2 in Orlando. There are 798 songs on it and I'd say 25% of it is "my" music and the rest the influences of a very influential music lover I know.

Anyway, back to Oingo Boingo. So I've really been getting into them more and more. They have not trumped Crowded House as my favorite group at yet, but it's getting there. I did a bunch of research on them (I read a wikipedia article) and learned so much about them-- I think. I mean, it is wikipedia. We know Danny Elfman is a colossal success with his composing and marrying Bridget Fonda, but it was interesting to learn that Oingo Boingo was originally The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo and founded in 1972 (I wasn't even MADE yet!!). Elfman's brother was the leader at first.

Of all their songs "Gratitude" is my favorite, because it strikes a chord in me. Then "Just Another Day" gets me so that 'thee' screenplay I have floating in my head (that's inspired by my father) has that tentative title. Then there's "Dead Man's Party" & "Weird Science" that I like because I'm human and they're awesome. "Kiss You When It's Dangerous" I TOTALLY love and sign to the cats whenever I'm kissing them and they're in a mood where they can easily turn on me. Then there is "St. James Infirmary" which I did not know until today was a cover of a song that -- according to Wikipedia -- no one really knows whose it is. Louis Armstrong, Cab Calloway and a lot of other biggies recorded it, but I have only heard Oingo Boingo's version and I love it. It sounds SO dirty --- so you know I love it. : - P Here's a youtube link to it. I hope the link works. If not and you want to hear it, just search St James Infirmary Oingo Boingo and it comes right up.

Gooooooood Night!! ;)

Romeo In Black Jeans- No. Make That Dress Trousers

"No Myth" is my current favorite song. I've always liked it, but since I'm putting the intention out there of finally finding my Romeo I've been liking it a lot more. I had a lot of fun this a.m. finding a pic for this post. I love how some of my postings here have become more about the photo I'm able to find. I'm going with just black trousers. No one in them. It's rather appropriate. Who oh who will wear these trousers? We shall see. ; )

(Kudos to me for no remarks about taking them off him. Ohhh damn)

Thursday, March 25, 2010

"Deep Inside the Forest Is a Door Into Another World..."

So I did a TON of research on "Grizzly Adams" (I read a 3 paragraph wikipedia article on him). He was real. Want me to drop some grizzly knowledge on you? Well he had his skull broken FOUR times whilst playing with his different bears. Okay, I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but that's a fun fact I never knew. He traveled with PT Barnum. He'd wrestle with his bears and they'd swipe at him and crack his skull like and eggshell. The forth time it left his brain exposed. He died of meningitis that he got from an open head wound he sustained from training a monkey. Should have called him Monkey Adams the dork.

The guy who played Nakoma on the show, also was Michael Meyers in Halloween 5. Don't read about Dan Haggerty because it might bum you out a little.

I have so many pics to choose from but the "Bearotic" cracked me up, and then I learned it's a site for "Bears" (NOT the animal) and I cracked up EVEN more. So that is the photo tonight.

I listened to the song and started crying. Reminded me of being a kid and watching the show and just getting the whole running away from it all did I know all the way back then? Here's the song if you're interested

To think this all came up out of mocking someone. : P

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Don Rickles: A Dying Breed...

I just watched the doc on Rickles. I loved him as a kid, but now I love and appreciate him as an adult. I'm so anti all this PC nonsense that runs rampant now. So many, in my opinion, seem to look for a reason to be offended. If you look for something to offend you, you'll find it. If you have a sense of humor about yourself, you'll brush meaningless things off and be just fine. To me his routine really exemplifies this. He slices and dices everyone and everyone LOVES it. It's all about perspective. So if you are not wearing a chip on your shoulder and you like to laugh, watch "Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project". If not, enjoy your misery. ; P

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Why I'm Going to Hell...

There are too many reasons to list. My perverse sense of humor would be at the tip top of the list though.

Dude, it's the one on the right that kills me.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Ohhhhh Floooorriiiiddaahhh...

This pic really got me today. Plus, I've been missing it a little bit lately (just a little bit).

So tonight my biggest of all my guilty pleasures (i'm not that guilt-ridden) is back - "Dancing with the Stars" and I don't know 80% of the new cast. I'll still get sucked in. I could go on and on and on about the show. So far I've said "Trebunskaya" about 20 times. I always say I want to marry Anna Trebunskaya and then I could be CARLA TREBUNSKAYA!!!! You need to hear how I say the name to really get the gravitas of it all. Ohhh, it something else. I'm hoping my main girl crush is on the show. I've not seen her so far. That would be Edyta Sliwinska (as I write this, she turned up and is dancing to "Hungry Like the Wolf) -- Oh, Edyta, you minx), her body should be illegal. My favorite of the men is there Maksim Chmerkovskiy. He is so fine and he knows it enough for the entire world. So this will be how I spend my Monday nights for awhile. Monday and I think Wednesday? or is it Tuesday? Well, I'll be watching when ever it is. Thanks to the magic of DVR.

I've been premium cable-free for 4 days now. I'm still okay. Okay, I've thought about adding back just HBO, but I haven't yet.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

What Dreams May Come..

I had a dream last night, as I do every night, about the person who most wronged me in this life thus far. Heavy I know. I don't want to out and out say who it is, but it doesn't take a Ph.D in Carlaology to figure out who it is.

Anyway, this dream was different from most. The person finds me. Presumably they have come to Austin. They are so happy to see me and it's not mutual. Somehow though we are in bed together - just laying there talking. Well the person is talking to me. The person is telling me how deeply sorry they are for all they have done to me and why couldn't they see what they had in me. They kept saying "You're so pure. You're so pure.". I kind of recoil at this and say, "I'm not pure. Not anymore. I not a good person now." Suddenly, I start backing up and working my way out of bed because I can see that their entire left side of the face is COVERED in a substance. It's dark so I initially am thrown, but then I know that it's blood. The person is not necessarily crying, but a lot of blood is coming from the left eye. They see that I'm terrified and feel their face. "Car, what is this?" I manage to allay their fears and run and get a cloth or kleenex to clean them up. They are none the wiser as to what it actually was and then go back to praising me for taking such good care of them.

Well this dream freaked me out. I can't stop thinking about it. I mean like I said. I dream about the person every night. Sometimes several times in a night. I suspect I always will. I just haven't been so affected by one of the dreams like I was this one.

(The photo is from someone's flickr "microabi". came up when i typed 'dream'. you didn't want me to find one of someone bleeding from the eyes did you?)

Friday, March 19, 2010

Obligatory Post...

I'm tired. I'm irritable. I don't have anything nice to say. So this post should be a real live one!!!!

No, not really. I'm not pissed off at anything in particular or I'd be off to the races. I just feel out of sorts. I'll feel okay/phenomenal tomorrow. I have acupuncture.

I love that I'm so used to doing this that I feel now that I have to write something every night somewhere in the 8pm-11pm time frame. The pic I posted was several pages in to my "guilt" search. Ohhhh, this internet has some really disturbing photos on it that I really wish I could unsee at times. Tonight's wasn't so bad, but my word have I seen things that haunt me years later. (Stacy knows what I'm talking about.) The picture I've posted was from They have a bunch of really funny cards like the one I posted.

Okay, obligatory post is officially posted. It will be my 70th. I'm surprised I still have so much to write. That's a lie. I'm not. I have so much more I could write it would curl your hair. It's already gotten to mine. ; P


Thursday, March 18, 2010

Belief-o-Matic Result for March 18, 2010

I've been taking this test for almost 10 years now. I LOVE seeing how my beliefs change every 6 months or so. Here are my results for today. I've posted the "Mahayana Buddhism" beliefs in case you're interested.

If you want to take the quiz it's at

1. Mahayana Buddhism (100%)
2. Neo-Pagan (92%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
4. Theravada Buddhism (91%)
5. New Age (90%)
6. Taoism (87%)
7. Hinduism (80%)
8. Liberal Quakers (79%)
9. Jainism (73%)
10. New Thought (72%)
11. Scientology (69%)
12. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (63%)
13. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (62%)
14. Secular Humanism (59%)
15. Sikhism (57%)
16. Orthodox Quaker (54%)
17. Nontheist (46%)
18. Reform Judaism (45%)
19. Baha'i Faith (42%)
20. Seventh Day Adventist (31%)
21. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (28%)
22. Orthodox Judaism (27%)
23. Islam (20%)
24. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (17%)
25. Eastern Orthodox (9%)
26. Roman Catholic (9%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (4%)

Mahayana Buddhism includes diverse beliefs, various sects, schools, and trends. The main Mahayana sects include Pure Land, Zen, and Vajrayana (or Tantric) Buddhism. We focus here on some of the traditional elements of Mahayana Buddhism.

• Belief in Deity
Mahayana Buddhism (like Theravada Buddhism) posits no Creator or ruler God. However, deity belief is present in the Mahayana doctrine of The Three Bodies (forms) of Buddha: (1) Body of Essence--the indescribable, impersonal Absolute Reality, or Ultimate Truth that is Nirvana (Infinite Bliss); (2) Body of Bliss or Enjoyment--Buddha as divine, deity, formless, celestial spirit with saving power of grace, omnipotence, omniscience; and (3) Body of Transformation or Emanation--an illusion or emanation in human form provided by the divine Buddha to guide humans to Enlightenment. Any person can potentially achieve Buddhahood, transcending personality and becoming one with the impersonal Ultimate Reality, which is Infinite Bliss (Nirvana). There are countless Buddhas presiding over countless universes. Bodhisattvas--humans and celestial spirits who sacrifice their imminent liberation (Buddhahood) to help all others to become liberated--are revered or worshipped as gods or saints by some.

• Incarnations
The historic Buddha, the person Siddhartha Gautama, is considered by many as an emanation or illusion of the highest power (which is also called Buddha). Many believe there have been countless Buddhas on earth.

• Origin of Universe and Life
No Creator God. All matter is illusion or manifestation of the Ultimate Reality. Generally, Mahayana Buddhist beliefs don't find modern scientific discoveries contradictory to Buddhist thought.

• After Death
There is no transmigration of individual souls, but through the law of karma, one's wholesome or unwholesome intentions become imprinted in the mind. Negative mental states persist through continual rebirth until one's intentions become wholesome. Once fully enlightened, one is liberated from rebirths, reaching a state of absolute selflessness resulting in ultimate bliss called Nirvana--the "Deathless State." One becomes Buddha (or one with Buddha). Some Buddhists, especially modern Western, don't emphasize or believe in literal rebirth.

• Why Evil?
People have free will to commit wrongs. Evil results as cravings, attachments, and ignorance accumulate through perpetual rebirths, thus perpetuating greed, hatred, and violence.

• Salvation
The goal is enlightenment, leading to Nirvana--liberation from cycles of rebirth and suffering--which is life. All are already endowed with Buddha-nature but need to come to realize fully that only the Ultimate Reality (the great "void" or "emptiness") is real (or nonconditional) and permanent. The Four Noble Truths and Eightfold Path show the way, along with worship of the essential Buddha. One must work to extinguish self: All worldly cravings, desires, and attachments, through loving-kindness, compassion, charity, moral conduct, wisdom, and meditation. Renouncing worldly possessions and goals is not necessary for the laity, if balanced. Buddha taught the middle path, moderation. Human and spirit world Bodhisattvas are sought for help in gaining enlightenment. Pure Land Mahayana Buddhists aim to find a place of eternal Nirvana in a paradisiacal Pure Land, attainable by calling out the name of the Buddha ruler of the Pure Land.

• Undeserved Suffering
Life is suffering. Suffering results from this and past life greed, hatred, and ignorance, which, unless mitigated, returns as suffering (karma). Intense suffering may be viewed as the release of karma, hastening one's liberation. Suffering is illusion or ignorance of one's true nature as Buddha.

• Contemporary Issues
Abortion is considered murder, and all violent acts cause horrific karmic consequence. Homosexuality in itself is not specifically condemned by scripture, but opinions vary, especially among various Buddhist cultures--e.g., American Buddhists are generally very accepting, while Asian Buddhists are generally strongly opposed to homosexuality. It is believed that divorce wouldn't occur if one follows Buddhist precepts, but a couple is not condemned if they separate due to vast personal differences. Gender roles are generally traditional (e.g. women are child caretakers and men are providers), but are growing less rigid as society inflicts more and more contemporary demands (e.g. women working in increasing numbers).

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"Within Your Own House Dwells the Treasure of Joy;..."

so why do you go begging door to door?”- Sufi saying. That really hit me today. So much so I was looking up Sufi meetings in town. Ohhh, how my heart/soul searches for meaning. (Also LOVE the Sufi dancer pic I found)

I'm on a quest to seriously reduce my spending. I dropped all my premium channels. Man, I've had every HBO, Showtime, Starz et al channel since I can remember (well when I was in the US obviously). Also reduced my Netflix. I'll see what else I can cut out tomorrow. I want to see if I can get by on $10k less a year. I do believe I can. I just have no reins on my spending and so I go off the rails (horses and trains in the same sentence... is that mixing metaphors?).

A lady on 43things dedicated this song to me saying "swim to the moon". Made me so happy. It's the little things.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I Must Be Serious, My Legs Are Paralyzed...

I've taken a mini-leap of faith that could lead to a full on PLUNGE of faith. Too early to say as yet, but it's all that's on my mind so I have to thinly-veiled allude to it. It would change my life dramatically. Can't wait to see what unfolds. My willingness shows me how very ready for things to change I actually am.

The blog title is from "Honeymoon in Vegas" I don't know where the pic is from. The person I stole it from didn't assign credit.

Monday, March 15, 2010

I Don't Have a Problem...

I can stop watching HBO Original Programming any ti--Okay, I have a problem. The newest show I'm psyched about nay SUPER-PSYCHED about is "Boardwalk Empire". I'd post the awesome trailer I saw that came on right before last night's "The Pacific", but it's not on HBO's youtube page yet. The ones I have found are subpar quality and don't fully do it justice. I'll post when every thing is perfect. Yep, I have a problem.

OMG, I walked up a hill - a MOUNTAIN of a hill - backwards today. WHOA!!!!! I apparently need to do this more because it hurt so bad that one the block back to the house I said "I want my legs amputated". Yeah, they hurt.

I'm less than 5 wks to the big THREE FIVE. I'm very, very, very proud of my hair. I've given my hair permission to start getting gray AFTER my 35th birthday. I think that's a fair age. I doubt I'll get that gray though given my mother and grandmother's almost non-existent gray.

What else. What else. Mmmmm. Never mind.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Another Great Weekend...

Gorgeous weather. Pampering beauty treatments. Hanging out with great friends. AND "What's Up, Doc" on the big screen = Happy Carla.

I have never seen a film that I first saw on the small screen and fell in love with on the big screen and then to see it with others who loved it as much as I did was awesome. I think I'll will dissolve into hysterical laughter every time I see a golf bag for some time to come.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Get Back, Honkey Cat...

I started off this a.m. by saying that to one of the cats (Evil). I say that to them periodically and then laugh maniacally because they're black cats. I'm sure this is wrong and I should feel bad/wrong/disgusting for doing this, but as you may have guessed by now -- I don't. By the way, I typed in "Get Back, Honkey Cat" and this was one of the few pics that came up. Then his lady was wearing them in a photo entitled "It's No Sacrifice" and now I desperately want to go to West London (where they are per the tags) meet them and make them my best friends.

Today was a great day. So beautiful out!!!! I had the car windows down and loudly sang along to whatever was playing on the radio. I actually made a guy on a motorcycle smile as I sang "Take a Chance on Me". I said "My work here is done" as the light changed and I took off. Sometimes, I love me a little extra.

Found out April (the girl I've been going to all this time at Avenue Five) will be SOOOO close to me after she graduates. I'm so glad. I really dig her, and was concerned about what to do as she is getting closer to leaving the school. Sounds like I'll have to do without her for a little bit as she takes the state exams or whatever it is she has to do.

Another fun evening of "Big Love", Cippolina's pizza, and then "The Mormons" documentary. Let me tell you what, I'll be ready for the next "Big Love" round with all my Mormon knowledge.

Now it's off to bed to rest up for the "What's Up, Doc" Brunch at Alamo S. Lamar. SO excited.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Unique for You...

"Beavers: IMAX" Really? I truly do not know what to do with that. Now, if it was "Cocks: IMAX"...... Well I ran this post into the gutter quicker than usual.

This week ended better than it started. Fo sho

Fun plans both days.

Tomorrow = Facial @ Ave 5 then "Big Love" finale + Cippolina pizza (I dig how tomorrow sounds a wee bit dirty)

Sunday = "What's Up Doc" Brunch at Alamo S. Lamar. That was SO on my top 5 fave movies as a kid. "Young Frankenstein", "Sound of Music", "The Music Man", and "My Fair Lady" are the other 4. (Carla Fun Fact)

I have about 10 other things I could go on and on about, but I'm tired and the bed beckons.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

Sickness: Day Two

Well, I finally have started feeling better in the last few hours. So that's good. I think I'm just epically stressed out and am susceptible to whatever comes along. I'm trying to stress less. Trying.

I went for a walk late this afternoon hoping the fresh air would help. On the way back I noticed "Lost" signs for a cat named Malcolm and a dog named Barley. The woman looking for Barley was around and calling out for him/her. I stopped and talked to her. She was so sweet. I was mortified when I got home I realized I was wearing my "Amsterdam: Sex, Drugs, & Canals" shirt. She was so sweet and motherly almost grandmotherly. Hopefully she couldn't read the part after "Amsterdam".

I've had a few promising things happen on the life coaching front this week. That is very encouraging. I was telling Stacy (best friend) that I need to come up with a good 2/3 sentence explanation of what I do because I'm constantly asked "What's a life coach?" and I launch into the biggest explanation ever. Stacy said to tell them that I stand on the sidelines and yell 'LIVE!!!!!!!!" at people. My god, that cracked me up. And now I actually want to do that. So don't be alarmed if I scream 'LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVE!!!!" at you from time to time.

Ohhh, and I'm starting rowing lessons in a few weeks. I know.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

There Is Hope...

What a day. I was sick for most of it. I really think it's just my nerves getting to me because I'm so bloody miserable in a certain aspect of my life. This too shall pass. I think I said that about 15 times today. I just need to remind myself of it when I'm in the thick of things.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Was Alone. I Took a Ride...

I didn't know what I would find therrrrrrre...

I wanted to add "Got to Get You Into My Life" to my playlist, but this player doesn't have any song by The Beatles. Sooo, I went to youtube and LOOK what I found!!! A cartoon of them in INDIA!!! (I went to where they were in Rishikesh--Carla Fun Fact)

How fun was that?? Well it's more fun than the movie I'm watching "Precious". Man, I don't know if I'm going to be able to give this a lot of stars. It's SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sad. So far anyway. I'm an hr & 8 min in.

Monday, March 8, 2010

McDonald's Happy Meals Ain't What They Used to Be...

and apparently neither is the old, grey mare, but this post isn't about her.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm all nostalgic about the past. I was just telling my brother he needs to rewatch "Miami Vice" because it will be like FL in our childhood all over again (he's now an undercop cop himself and even said he looks like Sonny).

So for whatever reason, I've been thinking about Happy Meals and wondering what they are like now. They're like crippling disappointment. First of all they don't have those cute little containers anymore. : ( : ( : ( : ( :( Yeah, that's 5 :('s Next, I was completely thrown by a question the unintelligible voice asked me 3 times at the drive-thru. Apparently boys and girls now have their own meals. So I was totally stumped as to which of my hypothetical children I was buying this for -- Future Baby Max or Why Can I Not Come Up With a Girl's Name/Would It Be Weird to Name My Future Daughter Zoe Since I Already Named the Cat That. The winner of the Happy Meal was WhatsHerFutureName.

So I got the McNuggets Happy Meal for a girl. It came in a dopey bag. It was the McNuggets (no sauce, but that's fine), small sized fries, and McDonaldland Cookies !!!! I retract the "!!!!" because they too now suck, like EVERY THING else I've tasted that I loved as a kid. So I get this toy "iCarly". I don't know what that is, but I do know every time I see it on the TV preview page I say "iCarla". Anyway, this was just a big, massive, raging disappointment.

I'm actually glad though. We weren't allowed to have soda as kids and I HATE soda to this day. I actually have to almost disconnect when I see others drinking it because it disgusts me that much. Sooooo, I'm thinking that if I don't introduce crap foods to the Future Children then hopefully they won't crave it.

Honestly, though. How can you crave what I ate today? It was awful. What are they doing now? It the high-fructose corn syrup isn't it? The bastards.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Breathing has been an issue for me since childhood. I know that I even stopped breathing a few times as an infant to the point of my family finding me blue. Nice, huh?

Anyway, this grew to be more traumatic in childhood, especially in Europe or anytime we would be up North and it was winter. It was brutal. The worst ever was when we were where the Battle of the Bulge took place. To this day anytime I see George C. Scott (he played Gen. Patton) I feel a little joked up. Anytime I see his son Campbell Scott I joke up too - because he's fine - but I digress.

So yeah, asthma. Well predominately being in India, Florida, California it wasn't a problem for me that often. The catalyst appeared to be any form of semi-strenuous activity or winter conditions and the combo of those two was the perfect storm for me.

I had pretty much forgotten about asthma until I took up fencing back in '98. This sucked because I was really good at fencing. I ended up quitting though because it would become a Catch 22. I'd either have an asthma attack or I'd have a panic attack that I'd have an asthma attack and there we go, straight into asthma attack.

So that's what 12 years ago. Well the fear has kept me from ever doing any of the myriad things I've wanted to try, because I'm scared. The most I've really ever done the last 12 years is walking and that comes and goes as the effing migraines of summer kick in.

I need to point out that I have never taken anything for asthma. My family didn't want me to become dependent on an inhaler and I'm actually grateful for that now. I know there are all these pills that have emerged in the last few years, but I really don't like Rx drugs (I sure used to, but that's a tale for another time). I'm not knocking the taking of them, I just found out that my brother is taking...argh... I forget what, but he's an undercover cop and kinda needs to be able to breathe under duress. So if it works for him, that's cool.

The big, grand point to of this that I think I finally have hope!! Between me seeing Peggy (acupuncturist) and Dr. Ron (chiropractor), I've really been listening to my body more and more. On Friday, Dr. Ron told me "Breathe" and he is by no means the first person to say that to me, but I've ALWAYS blown off the statement because not breathing was sort of my thing. I'm doing all this stuff though to get myself right so that night I was like "You need to tell Peggy about your breathing tomorrow." Seriously, I am so accustomed to the problem it was not even on my radar of things to tell her about. So she made me this powder. I'm to dissolve it in warm water and drink it before my walks. It smells kinda like it would rock as a soup seasoning. I really don't know how to describe it, but anyway I did it this a.m. I did my walk. Guess what. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better!!!!!!!!

So what I'm trying to say here my little Blog-Stalkers, is that if you have an issue that you have been living with your whole life --- maybe you don't have to.

You're Welcome.

(the pretty picture is by an artist named Jay Kelly)

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Fight Club Meets The Oscars...

I think I have come up with a fun little twist for my party tomorrow night. Granted I have not seen all the nominees and a couple I have missed I'm sure are solid contenders, but Netflix keeps giving them to other people even though I'm the 678 Netflix Ranked Reviewer, but that's just fine whatever. Anyway. I really liked "District 9" and seemingly no one else did. So we should fight it out. I really don't know what this will solve. Nothing, I'm sure, but it would be entertaining as hell. We could fight during commercials?

No? You people are no fun.

**If you are asking yourself, "Was this entire post a pathetic excuse to post this picture?" The answer would be "Yes."

Good Night

Face Book Thinks Maya Angelou & I Ought to Be Friends...

Well I could not agree more, Face Book. Ohhhh, you platonic match maker you!!! Seriously. This would be an amazing friendship. The mind reels at the possibilities. What hijinx would Maya and I get up to?

Brunch following by a little boutique shopping?

Would we do a day of beauty together?

"Sex & the City" & Cosmo Marathons?

Would we chat into the night about the boys we like?

Would we talk shit about that silly girl who thinks she's all that, but is really just jealous of us?

Would we hold each others hair back after a night of a few too many?

Ohhhh, Maya. You'd be the best friend ever. We could write together. We could be each other's muses!!!! You could ponder why the caged bird sings. I could ponder why the bird pooped on my head when I was on the Great Wall of China. You can write about rocks crying out to us. I could write about ummm. Well see that's where you would come in and muse me.

Laverne & Shirley, Lucy & Ethol, Maya & Carla. Oh yeah. That just feels right.

Friday, March 5, 2010

I Hear Carla...

People are always saying "I knew you were here, I heard you laughing." or "I knew you were coming, I heard your shoes." Yeah, Carla does not = Covert. The attached pic killed me and I said "That is SO me." Not that I'd ever rob your house or anything. If I ever broke into your house it would only be to delete the email I accidently sent you about you. Because I do do that. Email accidently not B & E.

OMG, it's the weekend, People!!!! I'm having a wee bit of a party. This means I'll be trying to find and hide all the find and hidables. Then relentlessly cleaning only to ENSURE - Zoe. Wicked and Zoe. Zoe and Evil. Wicked and Evil. Or any of the other combinations that I'm too tired to think of will vomit juuuuuusssssst as the first guests arrive.

Ohhhhhhh, I finally fell today!!! Sorta. I was trying to hurriedly get the drycleaning the house. Well, I sort of fell on the front seats of the car as I was reaching over for the KING SIZED comforter and my foot slipped on the grass/driveway/I don't know what the hell I was standing on. So it wasn't a far fall, but you just KNOW the neighbors- who I know already think I'm completely nuts- saw it.

Speaking of nuts. I have been giggling all day over nuts or actually nut. A friend of mine (it's a real person) sent me an article on being a landlord. One of the sections of the article was entitled "Calculate Your Nut". DUDE. That has had me/us rolling all day. Yeah, I'm weird, but it was really funny.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Saved by Zero

The big 35 is looming and I'm getting 35 shades of introspective lately. I was thinking about how every single thing that I was terrified of, save one (losing my grandparents), has happened to me and how I'm fine. In fact, I'm kind of great. The Fixx's "Saved by Zero" was playing in on the radio when I went to lunch today, and I have really been contemplating it again (I contemplate it for days whenever I hear it).

I found this quote of Cy Curnin's regarding the song:

"...It was about looking at your own life, not so much about amassing material things but about experiences that lend you to be blissful. It's peeling away illusions we pick up along the way. Our identity isn't the suit we wear or the latest gadget. Our identity is the freedom to pick and choose from all aspects of humanity and to make a stand...The song was written from the point of view of the release you get when you have nothing left to lose. It's sort of a meditation. It clears your head of all fears and panics and illusions and you get back to the basics, which is a Buddhist mantra, which I practiced back then, and which I still do. The idea of the song is how great it is to get back to zero."

I really dig that and I beyond get it.

(If you want to hear the song, I moved it to the top of my playlist.)

The "Venezuelan Trick"

Wicked (my cat) has the hiccups. He's right by his water bowl and I so wish I could make him do the "Venezuelan Trick". I call it that because this Venezuelan (Dad) taught it to me and I believe said "This is what we do in Venezuela". Well it's like voodoo to me, but it works. For years I've made people do it and then they are converts. Nothing stops hiccups like it. Fortunately the internet has supplied me with a photo of some girl attempting it.

All you do is drink backwards out of the cup like she does and you are cured almost immediately.

You're welcome.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Just In Case I Wasn't Geeking Out Over 'Stylo' Quite Enough...

the video. not at all what i visualized. i had more a space saga in my head, but this rocks too. i LOVE muscle cars and Mr. Willis so there you go.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Sweep the Leg...

I want this t-shirt, because I need my 73rd funny t-shirt. Okay, maybe I don't have that many, but I'm close to it. I'm not finding this in women's shirts though. I can't be the only girl who finds "Sweep the Leg" funny.

I think I only laughed one time today. That's not nearly enough. Not for me. Laughing is my oxygen.

Will try to laugh extra tomorrow.

Good Night.

Monday, March 1, 2010

"You Just Had One of Those 'I glued a bird to my head' Days"

Need to relax? Me too. Listen to this song over and over and just chilllllll the eff out. (you'll need to copy and paste it because the links aren't working here from some reason. it's worth it though, verrrrry pleasant).

It was one of those days. Just felt off. Nothing was wrong. Everyone was nice to me. I just had an "I Glued a Bird to My Head" Day. What movie is that from, Carla? Why it's from "Forget Paris", my Phantom Reader. That scene was the hardest I have ever heard a group of people laugh in a theatre in my life ever. Debra Winger is trying to get a mouse out of her house and puts down a sticky paper trap. She left the sliding glass door open and poor bird gets stuck to it. (Those who know me know that I'd not be keen on the mouse getting stuck there either.) Anyhoo. The bird panics when Winger enters and FLIES UP and gets stuck to her head. Imagine my hair, but shorter. It was a SCENE. So she's frantic. She's driving like a lunatic to get to the vet to help her and she's screaming at the passing cars for people to help her as the bird goes all Hitchcockian on her head. EPIC. Billy Crystal tries to console her later on by saying, "You just had one of those 'I glued a bird to my head' days."

My walk was so vexing tonight. I was so proud that my lungs were doing so well. Nope. The stupid cold, maybe mixed with the dampness kicked my butt, or rather lungs. I really thought I was going to have to call someone to come get me. I wasn't sure I'd get back to the house. I'm so disappointed. I'll keep going. I'm sure I'll get them built up. They are so my Achilles heal. Always have been. My lungs give out before anything else on me. I never stop an activity because my muscles are tired. It's always my lungs.

On the up side. Tried a couple Clarksville businesses today. I'll wait to Yelp them until I see the end product, but I really liked the vibe at Anthony's Dry Cleaners and I had a VERY pleasant convo with the girl at Sweetish Hill. I'll be getting a couple of trays from them for a party Sunday night. So if I get my clothes and bedspread back intact and my guests like the food on Sunday, I'd say a couple 4 to maybe 5 star reviews will be happening. We shall see.