Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Five years ago today, I had just finished up a two month process of selling off my 3 bedroom house full of furniture and saying good bye to all but one that I loved back home in Florida. The moving truck full of remaining furniture that would accompany me on my uncertain journey was packed up around late afternoon. My three cats (completely different from my current three) were all really that mattered to me at that point were finally captured and in my car. Evil and Wicked in the back seat and Princess Zoe Zou-Zou riding shot gun. We will drive all night stopping only for gas to arrive in Austin on Jan 31st (2008).
Then like now I had been laid off in the fall. Then like now I was hoping for something amazing to happen, but just didn't know what. I just knew I wanted something/someone/anything different than what my last 15 yrs had been.
In the last five years, I met dozens of interesting, wonderful, and a couple terrible people here. Some were greatly important for a season. A small handful I know I will know till the end. My bond with those back home grew stronger and even more meaningful in my absence. One of the great wonders of our modern time is that even when we're 'alone' there is someone always around online.
I have learned a great deal about myself. I'm definitely not the same woman that got in that car five years ago. Some things about this current woman I like, and some things I don't. The time has not been an easy one for me. I spent about 85% of my time feeling I made a huge mistake coming here, that I took a wrong turn. I feel that less now. I have NO clue what this experience is leading me to, but I hope it will be to something amazing. Just perhaps not in the immediate future.
I can say this about me. Right, wrong, or indifferent - I follow my heart. My heart led me here. What I came for didn't pan out. I'm trying to look at these experiences as stepping stones leading me to where I'm to go next. Trying to less look at the destination as I have finally learned that whatever MY destination is - I'll never get there. It's the journey.