Sunday, May 30, 2010
Sharing is caring, or is it? I know I take it to the extreme here and on my FB and in person and on the phone, but other than that...
This isn't some passive aggressive rant. I'm not alluding to anything that anyone reading this did. I am reeling from an incident I witnessed recently. I'd classify it as an ambush, but that's me. Actually, I got someone else's opinion today and she's in agreement.
Let me just tell you this. If anyone ever needs to confront me about something and picks doing so in a room full of a few hundred people, there are going to be consequences and repercussions.
(the pic is from failbook, really drives home my 'so much information' point really well)
(the title is from B. Stiller's character in "Meet the Parents" right after DeNiro's character reads the horrific poem about his mother being ravaged by cancer. God, I love that film)
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
OMG, this pic by "R2on" really sums up how I feel. I feel like I've been handed the keys to the kingdom, but now I have choose what I want. I really don't know what I want. I've been so embroiled in my pointless little battles that I've been completely distracted for the last __+ years.
So What Do I Want?
I know I want to do something that makes a difference. A big difference. I know I want to help people. Really help them. Authentically help them. I know I want to be a person of my word, a person of honor. I know I want to mend my relationships and have all my interactions with those I know and those I don't be meaningful. These things I know.
Do I want to remarry? Do I want a family? I don't know. That's something that has been plaguing me. I sometimes think I do, but would that just distract me from my bigger purpose? I really think my being alone the last 2 & 1/2 yrs has been HUGE in me moving forward as much as I have. Perhaps if I found the right partner that would help me move along even further? I don't know. I'll sort of back-burner this, but it's definitely simmering (on the back-burner)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
OMG, I saw this on awkwardfamilyphotos and suddenly my need to have a child returned. If Future-Baby Max ever takes on a life outside of my head, he just might find himself in a similar 'outfit', have you ever???
After 2 wks of AGONIZING over a blender, I have sprung for the $650 + shipping one. I am serious as the heart attack I'm hopefully now preventing about this whole raw thing. Seems Green Smoothies/Juices are the way. So here I go. There are a lot of people on FB doing the 15 day challenge beginning Jun 1st. It will be so nice to have that kind of support. I might start over the Mem Day Weekend. I have no plans so why not, that's if the most expensive appliance I've purchased to date gets here in time.
Still processing so much from this weekend. I'd say my current mood is BOLD. Bold as all f---. I just feel like going up to people and saying, "I want x, y, and z and you WANT to give it to me!!!". Whhhaaaaaaaaaaa??? That's so not me. I love it!!!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Learned a lot since Friday. A LOT. I've not even fully wrapped my mind around it all. The biggest shock to me is the level that I'm closed off to absolutely everyone in my life. I mean some people I know I am because I like them too much which is just automatic shut-down for me. I am concerned about hurting those I care about. I need to get over the fear of letting people in. It's far greater than I knew. Soooo, that will be a project for me.
Monday, May 24, 2010
So I had an amazing weekend. I'm finding as the day has gone on that dreams of the past are resurfacing. Can't wait to see where this all takes me. I found a really awesome pic that I found when I searched "Sea of Possibility", but my computer is giving me evils so here is one from a week or two ago.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
I 'heard' this over and over in my head at the very end of my acupuncture session this evening. I almost said out loud, "The One what???" It was intense. Hopefully over the next three days I'll be able to sort out what it all means.
If I have the energy each night, I'll write about what's going on with the seminar but I'm freeing myself to talk or not talk to anyone for the next three days. Just so you know.
See you on the other side. : )
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
I've noticed something about me. Actually I've noticed it for years. I don't miss people more the longer I don't see them. I actually miss them more if I'm in pretty regular contact. I don't know if that's normal or not. I mean the saying is "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", right? Not so with me. It's like I forget about them after a few weeks. Obviously not forget forget, but they just aren't on my mind anymore.
Meanwhile how 'cool' is the room I found to represent my heart?
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I had NO way of knowing last week my life was going to change, but change it has. This week was completely raw (except for the Thursday kolaches and Friday bagels -- Hey, Baby Steps). I'm so excited about this. I can tell a BIG difference in my body already. I'm not going to obsess with weighing because I'm not doing this for weight loss, but I can totally tell a difference in my clothes already. I wonder where this will lead. Will I eventually be 100% raw 100% of the time? I don't know. If I'm feeling as good as I am now, I'd say 'yes'. I'm noticing the foods that normally make me do a double-take are almost turning me off now. That's crazy, but good. They weren't good-for-me foods anyway.
I'm so lucky that I live in a town with a lot of options for a healthier life-style. I had a wonderful experience at Talkhouse today. I had the Rawsagna and my god was it tasty!! John (the owner) had me sample their granolas, breads, and cracker and all of them were every bit as good as their less-healthy counterparts and really I'd say they tasted better. It is so great that not only I have a place like this as an option, but it's literally in my backyard.
I also found an AWESOME Ashiatsu therapist and had a great session with her today. AustinAshiatsu.com, you should SO check it out. I'll be doing a yelp review about Cathy shortly (probably tomorrow I'm way tired).
All in all a great day. : )
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
(The pic has nothing to do with the rest of the post. Just DemonDonkey killed me and I had to share.)
So I need some furniture around the house, but I've been derelict in pursuing pieces because I really don't know what I want blah blah blah. Well with the raw foods thing, one thing I'm going to need FO SHO is more surface space in my ginormous kitchen. So I found a table that was pretty much what I needed. A solid white table from Ikea. Where was the person selling this item? Well I'm 1619 and she's 1620. It's a small, small world.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I've been cracking up about this Scott Brown early modeling days photo all day (and making lewd comments, but then you could have guessed that).
Day Four was less awesome. Thinking I'm detoxing. I wanted to punch someone for the first 1/2 of the day. Better now. Hopefully I get to the optimum health part soon. Ohhhh, I might be giving up cheese.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I saw something today that reminded me of the movie (a bunch of drawers open like the kitchen scene) and that got a mini-convo going about Willis being dead. It was SO funny as we discussed that scene where we learn he's dead, I totally got goosebumps and was so freaked out I had to walk away. I wonder who was around. : )
It's Day 3 of raw living and I'm feeling good. I am far less tired than I was just a few days ago. I am really impressed at all the information I'm able to find. Each day I've found more and more info that makes things so much easier. I'm also impressed at how kind and helpful everyone is. I've never really encountered that in anything else I've looked into before. It's nice.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
So I was up and at 'em early this morning. I wanted to get out to the store when it was relatively empty so I could linger in the produce aisle. I pretty much bought every other item. I counted a total of 23 items. My cart looked like someone had a hard on for nature. It was awesome though. So colorful and fresh looking.
I'm just a little lost right now. I cook. I use heat. Now I can't or not nearly as often anymore. It will be an adjustment for sure, but I think I'm going to see a dramatic difference in my health in just a few weeks. I'm excited. I think this will really challenge my creativity. I like to think I'm a good cook. Now let's see if I'm a good 'cook' with one hand tied behind my back. I think I will find that I am.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
I've spent all afternoon/evening researching raw foods. I think I'm a convert. I found a site called Raw Food Rehab. It's kind of myspace/facebooky. You can add friends, photos, join groups, etc. The photo is from a lady named Candice Hughes. Does it not look tasty? I actually accidently met an Austinite (not C Hughes). I complimented her Christmas dish and she replied back and she and another Austinite on the site should meet at Beets (raw foods cafe down the street from me). So I'm making friends in the new lifestyle already.
It's been a LONG time in coming. I'm very disenchanted with almost everything I've been eating so a change is more than welcome. I think I might need to take some cooking classes, although there is A LOT of info on youtube. I learned how to make the most DELICIOUS looking doughnut holes that were nothing more than dates, pineapple, coconut, and almonds. Amazing looking. These were made by Eve.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
So my one week of not complaining is up in the morning. Very, very, very revealing. I have a long way to go in my personal growth I see. It was cool though because I was quite aware that I was about to complain and would stop or I'd catch myself shortly afterward. I really hope I break my complaining habit. It's not attractive and completely counter-productive.
Once I conquer this, it's talking shit about others. I'm terrible with that.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
I'm driving home and part of where I drive I have to go 30ish mph. So I can easily see all that's around me. Saw a guy. A not bad looking guy. Not bad looking enough I made my "Mama Likes" mmm!!! sound. Hopefully you never have to hear it, although if I'm comfortable around you, you might. It sounds like I just thought of seven things that are illegal in most of these United States. Then it happened. He spit. Why? WHY???? Why do guys do that? I don't think any of the guys I know do it. If they do, they have never done it around me. THANK YOU!!! I just do not understand, what precipitates this. You are walking around and you are producing such vast quantities of saliva that you'll drown if you don't expel it right then and there and in the path of others? Fucking gross, Dude!!! Even grosser than what I was initially thinking about you.
(pic is "Blind Justice" taken from jrpopartz flickr, i think he's the artist not certain)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I am fascinated by how many songs that I used to like/love and I now either don't much care for or out and out dislike them. Just because the message of them doesn't resonate with me any longer. So I'm finding that a whole new crop of songs that I have heard in the past are suddenly relevant or have greater meaning to me. I was looking for another Springsteen song that I like and found "Tougher Than the Rest" totally by mistake and it's completely my favorite song now. I know I heard it in the past, and probably thought "Oh that's nice", but now, whoa. It's like my love mantra- you know - or something like that. Anyway, it's like music and I have rediscovered each other in some respects. It's nice.
In other news, my car radio decided to lose its mind today. I learned that THESE go to 39. Yeah, THIRTY-NINE is the highest volume and where it decided it wanted to remain. After almost swerving off the road due to Guantanamo Bay High Decibel Torture happening in the car, I finally got the volume back to normal. Then "Money for Nothing" came on I screamed, turned up the volume as I do when I love a song and up to effing 39 we went again. I did NOT think I was going to get it back down. I mean the car is almost not drivable when it's that loud. So I MUST remember to leave it alone until I decide what I want to do. I'm a little bit thinking about selling the car so I don't know how much money I want to put into it. We shall see.
Monday, May 3, 2010
A photographer I'm not, but here is what I made tonight. This is one of Jose Andres' (my new husband as soon as he ditches the wife) dishes. So simple, so tasty. The perfect end to an INSANE day.
Which started by me fishtailing doing 70+ mph on Hwy 71. Soooooo scary. I literally started shaking. Fortunately, I safely got to my destination and got the tire fixed free of charge due to my warranty.
(yes, that's cucumber water in the photo)
Sunday, May 2, 2010
So I learned about Jose Andres tonight, courtesy of "60 Minutes". He does things with food I have never heard of. I'm completely enthralled with him and his amazing ideas. He has several restaurants, but his "Mini-Bar" in DC is the one I really want to go to. I love that he still volunteers as a kitchen that helps rehabilitate former criminals. He was saying that chefs have an obligation to what people eat. That the people who go to their restaurants are in the top 1-3%, that they need to reach out to the rest of the population and influence what they eat. I'm massively paraphrasing it, but it was awesome. He is awesome. My internet connection is total crap right now or I'd post it here.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
or rather I just really don't feel like writing so look at this pretty picture. It's Christiane Lemeuix' (pretty sure I'm spelling that wrong) studio. I think it's lovely. I wish my clutter looked like this. Instead it's just a lot mail and bras everywhere.