Saturday, March 27, 2010

Rethinking It All

I'm a Philip Glass fan so I loved, loved, LOVED a doc on his life entitle "GLASS: A Portrait of Philip in 12 Parts". He's such a genius. He was telling about a writer friend of his who writes to escape the chaos of the real world around him. Then he (Glass) asked "Is that escape or is that liberation?" That got me to thinking. I'm sure it's a bit of both, but if it's liberating does it even matter?

His life got me thinking about another thing that's been on my mind a lot lately. He was on his 4th wife and during the making of the doc they split up. I've been reading about several different people lately who are now in their 70's or 80's and they have 3 or more spouses, but were with each a rather long time. I'm intrigued by this since I was the first divorce in my family. I was just bred with the notion that you stick it out until the end and it was very hard on me when that was taken out of my hands by my ex-husband. Having been out of the situation now and seeing that I've blossomed being alone of the last two years, I find my notion of "to death do us part" very much changing. Maybe some couples are only meant for each other for a time. I mean hopefully you are both growing as people and it would be awesome if you are growing in the same direction. Isn't it just as likely that you would not be, and that to stay together is just holding back your growth? I spent 15 yrs in my relationship from beginning to the ultimate end (there were MANY breakups) of me leaving Orlando just to get away from the vicious cycle. Don't get me wrong, I would not be devastated at all if I finally met someone that I was meant to be with until the end. I just question the whole notion of expecting that in your relationship.

So what am I saying, that I'll look back on my life and say I had 5 husbands? God, I hope not, but I am saying that my notion of "forever" is all but gone and it doesn't sadden me like it used to. I have a more positive view of it. One of growing into something different.

(Can I just say that I love that I spend two hours watching a story about a man's life and somehow totally make it about me. I have a real gift for that. ; -P )

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