Monday, March 8, 2010

McDonald's Happy Meals Ain't What They Used to Be...

and apparently neither is the old, grey mare, but this post isn't about her.

I don't know what's going on with me. I'm all nostalgic about the past. I was just telling my brother he needs to rewatch "Miami Vice" because it will be like FL in our childhood all over again (he's now an undercop cop himself and even said he looks like Sonny).

So for whatever reason, I've been thinking about Happy Meals and wondering what they are like now. They're like crippling disappointment. First of all they don't have those cute little containers anymore. : ( : ( : ( : ( :( Yeah, that's 5 :('s Next, I was completely thrown by a question the unintelligible voice asked me 3 times at the drive-thru. Apparently boys and girls now have their own meals. So I was totally stumped as to which of my hypothetical children I was buying this for -- Future Baby Max or Why Can I Not Come Up With a Girl's Name/Would It Be Weird to Name My Future Daughter Zoe Since I Already Named the Cat That. The winner of the Happy Meal was WhatsHerFutureName.

So I got the McNuggets Happy Meal for a girl. It came in a dopey bag. It was the McNuggets (no sauce, but that's fine), small sized fries, and McDonaldland Cookies !!!! I retract the "!!!!" because they too now suck, like EVERY THING else I've tasted that I loved as a kid. So I get this toy "iCarly". I don't know what that is, but I do know every time I see it on the TV preview page I say "iCarla". Anyway, this was just a big, massive, raging disappointment.

I'm actually glad though. We weren't allowed to have soda as kids and I HATE soda to this day. I actually have to almost disconnect when I see others drinking it because it disgusts me that much. Sooooo, I'm thinking that if I don't introduce crap foods to the Future Children then hopefully they won't crave it.

Honestly, though. How can you crave what I ate today? It was awful. What are they doing now? It the high-fructose corn syrup isn't it? The bastards.

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