Thursday, September 16, 2010

Kiss Me, I'm Dying

Well the last couple weeks have been torturous on numerous levels. The worst part was really facing how horrifically out of shape I've gotten. I was in decent shape back in Florida and didn't even realize that I had let it all slip so far. I can't get through a single video on Exercise TV on Demand. It's preposterous. I was one of the fittest people I knew, not the thinnest but definitely fit. Well I got good news this evening. My chiropractor told me that for every year you have been away from working out it takes a month to get back to where you were. So I'm climbing up on 3 years so then 2 & 1/2 to 3 months. That greatly encouraged me. I was really feeling like this was it, and thought about just sort of giving up.

I have a 14 wk plan that I'll start on Sunday. I'm going to try SO hard to stick to it, because at the end of the 14 wks my Grandparents will be here for Christmas and I'd love to be in good shape for that. It's good incentive, since I don't seem to have too much other incentive. I know "doing it for myself" SHOULD be the incentive. It's not. I don't know why, but it's not.

In other news, I'm dying professionally. DYING. I need to make a change. I wanted to wait until next year, but I don't know that I can handle the disrespect in that office too much longer. I almost mouthed off today. I love my immediate group (my boss and my fellow co-workers who are under her), but it seems to be any man in that place just rubs me the wrong way. Okay, that's a broad statement, but I'm angry. I just feel completely devalued and I didn't leave a husband and a place I knew and was comfortable in to be disrespected by a few men who don't give a good goddamn about me. I write this knowing fully well that if they are cyber-stalking me I could get in trouble for it, but I have never named where I work so bring it, Misogynists.

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