Tuesday, August 17, 2010

FutureBabyMax's Future Is Looking Bleak

Okay, first let me say that this is NO JUDGEMENT on anyone who has kids at all. Why my parents had kids!!! So no need to get your back up about what I'm going to write. This is about me not you.

When I was 14 I KNEW I wanted to be a mother. Knew it. I knew I'd be the perfect mother and raise the perfect child or two. Fortunately (given how it all worked out), I married a child-hater. I'm kidding. He was/is wise enough to know he would not be a good father and that he didn't want kids. While that was hard on me at the time because I was so in love with him and wanted all that a marriage was supposed to be (the way I was raised), I was heartbroken.

As I have moved beyond that relationship body, heart, and soul, I have found the desire for children is almost nil. I don't feel anything warm and fuzzy when I see a baby. I get why their parents and others like them, I mean I'm not a robot. Just that spark that I used to feel and CLEARLY see other women feel is not there.

I get the feeling with most of the parents I see that they had NO idea what they signed up for. I know they'd all say they'd do it again, I mean hello, they're here now, you love them, they aren't all the burden some make them out to be, but as the outsider looking in, I think I'm inclined to pass.

The only way I can see me having FutureBabyMax at this point is if I found a SAINT of a husband and he's secure enough that I don't have to stress about every little thing. I really think that's the crux of it. The financial burden. When I'm feeling the pinch, I'm the only one feeling it. I get that having to worry about Mini-Me feeling the pinch too would be ROUGH.

Yeah, unless it's the Perfect Storm of conception I think FutureBabyMax will have to be content playing around in the recesses of my mind.

Seriously, noooo disrespect to those with kids, those who hope to have kids, those who know kids, those who were kids. This is just this writer's opinion.

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