Monday, June 7, 2010
C'est La Vie
Beginning to think I'm always going to be put out by people. I need to learn how to disconnect. Why do I even care so much? I really don't know. I'm never going to make anyone conform to the way I think things should be so, let it go already. It's the source of so much of my discontent. I keep thinking if I meet people who are striving to better themselves I won't be let down, but hell, they're only human. Not like I'm perfect, I'm the farthest thing from it. I'm mean. I'm domineering. I'm moody. I'm cold. Not all the time, but I am these things to some extent. What do I expect from everyone else? Really. I need to get that down deep inside me. I'm no bargain so why do I expect every one else to be so amazing? I think I hope that they'll be so incredible that it forces me to be good. I don't know. I just don't even know anymore.
I wish I could not think so much. Just be one of those people who seem to do zero introspection. What would that feel like? Freeing?