Thursday, May 23, 2013
Ways You Give Away Your Power: Feeling Guilty
This is not one of mine fortunately. I mean I will have occasional pangs of guilt, but they quickly pass. That is the beauty of getting religion out of your life. My family doesn't get me with it either because their expectations are routed in religion. So basically, I tell myself "They expect x because they believe y" and I'm right as rain. To be clear, there are constructive forms of guilt, but that's not what I'm talking about here.
Copying again from "Waking Up Groggy":
"Guilt is one of the most draining, disempowering emotion there is, it has its purposes but most often it’s used a tool of manipulation. If someone is trying to make you feel guilty about something you enjoy, don’t listen to them! They have no right to tell you how to live your life, everyone has their own idea about what they consider good or bad but it comes down to what’s right for you. As long as you aren’t hurting yourself or another person and it makes you happy then have at it, let others mind their own business."
This one makes me want to shake people, as I'm sure people wanted to shake me into the next life with my hang-ups. I totally see it as a 'tool of manipulation'. I see people make huge, life-altering decisions due to guilt, obligation, expectation whatever name you want to slap on it. It is unfortunate, and I am sure I have been *guilty* (haha) of using guilt to get what I want. I am grown past that.
So how can you overcome guilt?
I found an article "Overcoming Guilt: How to Free Yourself from a Guilty Conscience" by Mark Foo K.L. He suggests first determining the route cause of your guilt. I will just list the 5 points not his remarks.
1. The past is the past, it can not be undone, and it should be left alone.
2. Problems should be fixed.
3. Give yourself permission to be human.
4. Talk it out with friends, family, or professionals.
5. You can and should forgive yourself.
As I stated, this isn't one of mine. So I don't have a lot to personally offer on it other than to say, you deserve better than this. I hope if this speaks to you that you are able to find what you need to work through it. Plenty came up on Google when I did the search. If it's a deeply routed problem, I'd definitely talk to a therapist about it to help you get to the route cause if you don't know what it is already.
Tomorrow's Power Thief - "Obsessing Over Someone's Bad Behavior"