Saturday, February 5, 2011

Brown Chicken Brown Cow (II)

Well look at me. I apparently have already titled a blog post BCBC before as it auto-populated. Well sorry of repeating myself, but I think while the general topic will be sex that there is a deeper point to the post.

So if you're keeping up you know that I got turned on (not sorry for the sophomoric pun) to belly dancing about a month ago. Unlike most of my, "OH MY GOD I HAVE TO DO THAT" urges this one has stuck around. In fact, it's helping me. A lot. I have never been fatter in my life than I am now and while I'm not happy about it, I'm finding that with the dancing it's making me respect my body more and in turn I'm gradually giving a damn about myself. This is reflected in a big drop off in my emotional eating/drinking. BIG drop off. I feel like I'm starting to connect to my body more. I start my formal lessons tomorrow and I'm so excited. I am afraid that I'm doing some moves wrong (I get SO turned around) so it will be wonderful to have Najla right there showing me what to do and not do.

I'm finding that just in the little bit I've done on my own that my senses are reawakening (refer to title and pic if you are unclear what 'senses' I am speaking of). It's really nice. I had soooo shut myself off due to a couple of notable mistakes in judgement in the men department, that I really felt almost dead inside. No I actually did feel dead inside.

It's nice to see that there is hope. I met a woman from Craigslist today (I'd love to end the post right there:) ), and she was telling me that when she was 36 (which I will be in April) that she packed it in. Decided "I'm going to be alone" so she bought a place in the country, a bunch of horses, and a pickup (the pickup was what started the life story). She then said that she knew a guy at the time, but he was serving in Bosnia and there didn't seem like there was going to be a relationship. Cut to present day - they're married. I just loved the story because she was 36 and had packed it in, just like I have, and life surprised her.

I'm looking forward to life surprising me --- IN A GOOD WAY THIS TIME, LIFE!!!

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