Saturday, February 16, 2013

Damn You, Alan Ball, and Your Photo-Sensitive Hotties!!!

Mr. Ball, you have given me much entertainment in the Vampire Porn that is "True Blood", and I am grateful for the insane number of fantasies you have fostered by introducing me to Alexander SkarsgÄrd and Joe Montessori? Monticello? Mangia?* - Hot Italian who plays Alcide who is so hot I can't contain both the image of him and his correct name in my brain.

As if all this was not enough fuel for my fire, you gave me "Banshee". Between Antony Starr, Ulrich Thomsen, Hoon Lee (especially in drag), Ben Cross (whom I've loved since I was a kid) and even Ivana Millicevic (because she is stunning and I believe she could save me if the shit went down) my cup runneth over - sorry for that image. I have enjoyed the bounty that is "Banshee" - until last night.

Last night you did what was the impossible. You made me hot for an albino. An albino. Do you know how much I love the sun? My nickname used to be "The Sun Goddess of Park Lake". What would an albino and I have in common? What would a vampire and I have in common you might ask? We love to wear black, brood, and be sexy, so there is commonality there. I love silver, garlic, my reflection, and sun so those would be our challenges to overcome. Also, I'm relatively certain they are figments of our sexy imaginations. Albinos are real!! Now, I have to deal with the fact that maybe there is a hot albino out there for me. I have shit to do, Mr. Ball. I don't need sexy Albinos in my head, but it's too late.

If you come up with a show with a hot mole-man, you and me are THROUGH!!!!

*Manganiello - I looked it up.

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