Arguably, this is the best my life has ever been. Hands down. No contest. THEE BEST. Do I have everything I want? Fuck no! And that's a good thing. For a person like me, that's a GREAT thing. I always need the next thing. It drives me. It does most people, but I know it does me for a fact.
But I'm a bit, wistful for the past. Specifically my time in Austin. I miss the people I knew there. I miss the me that I was there. It was such a fantastic time for me and about 60% of the time, I knew it. I was sad, don't get me wrong. I fell for someone there, nothing came of it, and that haunted me - FOR YEARS. But I still loved that time.
I find myself trying to grab a little of that magic. I will see someone post on a friend's page or something. That will lead me to explore what has gone on in their lives. It seems a lot of people I knew then are no longer in Austin either. Their lives have moved on too, of course, happily I hope.
Sometimes, Mister and I talk about where we go from here. Florida is not the dream destination for either of us. Most signs point to the Pacific NorthWest or perhaps Montana. But every so often, he will throw out, "What about Austin". And I got excited at the prospect. There are still a few people left I talk to and love and miss terribly. But would that be wise? Would I subconsciously be trying to live an a life that no longer exists?
So what's the point of this post? No point really. Just what got me up at 3 or 4 this morning and wouldn't let me return to sleep.
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