Oh Mickey, You *WERE* So Fine

You now blow my mind for all the wrong reasons. I don't think I could see a M. Rourke film in the theatre because I'd be asked to leave due to my incessant gasps and out loud musings as to what wrong. I mean WHAT. WENT. WRONG??????

How do you go from this (which was about my first exposure to anything sexual)




to this



I dig him don't get me wrong, but it's not like he looked like ohhh say Nicholas Cage and now looks like this. He was an Adonis. He is so fine that in college there was a guy named Dave who was a dead ringer for him. He was so fine all the girls just circled around him literally and we called him Mickey. That was his nickname. He offered to relieve me of the tremendous burden of my virginity (ex-husband won that honor) and I actually considered it, because he was THAT fine. I now wonder every time I see Rourke what happened to Dave and more importantly did THIS happen to Dave. I pray not. I PRAY not. and I thank god that I never did it with him because it would a bit like saying I did it with Rourke. Okay, it's really not at all like that, but I'm shivering a bit at the prospect.

I love how I can make this poor man's problems about me. It's really a gift. A shitty, shitty gift.