"This Is Not My Town and It Will Never Be"

I have been a tourist my whole life.  Never putting down roots, always moving on.  The way I grew up was very gypsy-esque.  I don't mind it.  I sometimes did at the time.  I craved having friends that I could be with on a consistent basis, but that was not possible.  As a result, I was GREAT at making instant 'friends'.  I also knew though that I'd probably never see them again.  If I had facebook back then, it might have been a different story.

I think this affected my choice in mates.  Always picking those who allowed me in - as a tourist - in their lives.  I was a sight-seer on a temporary visa.  Little more than that.  Most notably the relationship with my ex-husband (even Citizenship can be revoked) fits this mold.  I heard this song today that really sums it all up.  All I got were his copied keys...


Kathleen Edwards "Copied Keys"

This is not my town and it will never be
This is our apartment filled with your things
This is your life, I get copied keys
Try and force a little smile, hold it a little while for you

These are your old streets and you know them well
One way shortcuts all the way downtown
But your favorite find is just my secondhand secret
Try and hide a little pain for the things I can't explain to you

These are your good friends and I like them fine
'Cause they are your past and present time
But would you even be the same if you left them behind
All the things I used to be, all the things I miss of me for you

'Cause these are your good friends and I like them fine
These are your old streets and you know them well
This is not my town and it will never be
And it will never be and it will never be
And it will never be and it will never be ours, ours



Anyway, I have moved on from him to other sights.  I keep moving from one to the next; seeing something that catches my eye and holds my attention for a season or two.  Always secretly hoping something would 'stick'.  The latest one holds more promise than others in recent history.  I have no illusions though - I'm sure I'll be wandering on like the Nomad I clearly am...