3 Year Austinversary: Go Big or Go Home

So three years ago today I landed (in my car) here in Austin; running away from the oppressive regime of my homeland. That made me smirk.

Things I'm Grateful for:

My Kickass Network of Friends
MimiNoir
My Never Say Die Attitude That's Going to Kick All The Negative Things Listed Below Right in the Ass







Things That Suck So Bad I Was Looking Into Moving to the Keys:

My Job
The Massive Pay Cut I Took Moving Here
The Debt I've Racked Up from Massive Pay Cut
The Drivers Here (I'm going to pistol-whip someone before I make it out of this state)
My Boys Dying (Yes, I a bit blame TX. Don't ask me why. Blame is rarely rational)
Being Alone the Entire Three Years I've Lived Here
Gaining 30 Pounds Since Moving Here (Grandmother would say this is why the alone thing happened. I've seen a lot of fatties get married so I'm not buying that)

So as you can see, I have several things on the negative side that I want to turn around. The job is NUMBER ONE on the list. I'm absolutely done with that place and all its negativity and really just generic horseshittiness. Hopefully new job will pay me what I'm worth, but I'm a bit skeptical about that. Texas $ is a bit of a joke. Oh well. I'll settle for a job that doesn't make me cry every day and figure out how to pay off my $15k debt. "I'm smart, not like everybody says. Like dumb!!!" ;P

So yeah. Texas, three years. I need you bring your A Game this year and I'll bring mine and hopefully I'll have a much, much happier Four Year Austinverary Report. :)

IFC Is Here: You'd Better Get Down

(Back story: I'm trying to write a screenplay on a heist gone wrong)

I love my dreams -SO MUCH. I dreamt last night (probably more this a.m. as I didn't sleep a lot last night) that a SWAT team of sorts descended on my quiet street. I was trying to see what their jackets read. FBI? No. ATF? No. CIA? No. IFC!!!

Some girl was passing by and asked me what was happening as they were about to break through the door of the guy two doors down.

Me, "Ohh, I'm trying to write a screenplay on a heist and they have come to help me with ideas."

Her, "Ohhhhh, that's really cool!!!"

Me, "Yeah!! Uhh, you might want to get down."

"I Love It When a Plan Comes Together" *Lights Cigar in Sexy, Self-Satisfied Fashion*

Last night was wonderful. As one person said "I feel like I'm at an adult dinner party" to which I squealed like 5 year old who had decades of planning finally come together. It was like Fate organized the dinner (because I sure didn't/I'll be a bit more proactive next time). I made the Apple/Walnut/Gorgonzola Crostini, except I didn't. I did apples, walnuts, and bleu cheese and I forgot sage/garlic but NO ONE was complaining. In fact, I got all the praise my "PLEASE LOVE ME" inner child needed.

Then we had a gorgeous salad that E. brought and I will be having for lunch today. Thanks, E.!!!

Next we had T. bringing it with the olives and assorted rustic breads and olive oil. That may or may not have been attacked after the last guest left (it's the former). Thanks, T.!!!

Then we had L. double bring it. #1 WINE. E & I were getting a bit parched so that was a delightful addition. You know how dinner parties can dehydrate you. Then she brought this delectable pasta dish that I wish I had saved more room for. (Filling up on bread, honestly, what a rookie move!!) Thanks, L.!!!

Next A. & J. arrived with wine (woot!) and this mega-awesome Mediterranean soup (which I also filled up on, but it was too good not to). It was like eating at my mother-in-law's except this was good. OHHHHH YES I DID!!!!!!! Thank you A. & J. and awesome meeting you, J.!!!

Last but NOT least, R. brought it with wine (my hero) and this amazing pasta dish that was a medley of awesomeness. I also wish I had more room to really savor this. Soooo tasty. Thanks, R.!!!

So that was the food. So delicious. It was incredible how we ended up with a perfectly balanced table. I guess my friends and I all share a deep, psychic, food bond. :)

I loved the evening so much and can't wait till Oscar Night (Feb 27) when we do it all again.

<3

Note: Peppard is SO the original Hannibal, but Neeson looks so damn sexy in this pic I had to go with this one. Plus I liked the new "A-Team" movie. I don't know why everyone was bagging on it.

Brian Eno & David Byrne - Home

BE & DB did the soundtrack to "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" and it's AWESOME.

I love this song, especially now that my house is starting to feel like home again. :)

I'm Going to Die Alone...

Okay, I know we all are, but you know what I mean. Today is my grandparents' 59th anniversary. They are THEE perfect couple. They are best friends who have been together through some big ups and big downs and I envy them. I want that for myself. I thought I had that, but I didn't. I want my best friend to spend the next 59 years with.

I want everything Howard's singing about. HE GET'S IT!!!

Never a Frown with Golden Brown

Ohhh my god this cat is what I needed. She's amazing. Every time I hold her, I feel myself healing a little more. She has my eyes, they're a golden brown color (cannot get a pic of them as yet). I suspect that will change, but for right now it's awesome!!!

I named her MimiNoir, but she could be named Mini-Mi because if Evil crafted a mini-clone of himself it would be her. That's why I got her. Her looks, but I'll be damned if she doesn't have his mannerisms down too. So many things that only Evil would do, she has down. It's amazing.

Her cry is heartbreaking. It's going to be hard leaving her the next four days. Glad I have Friday off. :)

The Lightning Seeds - You Showed Me

The Thing with the Guy at the Place...

This will be right up there as possibly one of my vaguest posts to date as I can't talk about what I need to talk about, but I'm going to allude to several things so that should be fun for you because you'll get NOTHING out of this, but I'll get a bit of a catharsis from the whole thing.

So I have questions that HAUNT me. Two predominate questions. One man knows the answer to at least Question #1, and I GREATLY suspect he knows the answer to Question #2. I may or may not have been married to said man (it was the former). The issues surrounding both Questions 1&2 did irreparable damage to my life at the time and still to this day has a major effect on me. I'd trade something of great value if I could ever get these two questions answered, but I have zero trust in the person who could answer them. It would at least explain a bit why I had to endure what I did. I think about this every day. Every fucking day.

I hope he does too.

The whole incident always makes me think of this song. "Secrets Everywhere, Dirty Games, Nah-Nah-Nah-Nahh...."

Dirty Pillows

My best friend and I quote movies to each other all the time. "Carrie" has provided a us a few favorites "They'll all laugh at you" and "I can see your dirty pillows" are in frequent rotation. I've started calling Zoe "Dirty Pillows", because she trips out on me each week when I wash the pillow cases on her pillows (yes, she has her own). She's been in rare form since the passing of her brothers. She has started jumping in the tub before I get in to take a shower to prevent me from leaving. I outsmarted her the other day, so I thought, and I got in and started the shower. I'll be damned if she didn't jump right in with me. She is not handling being alone well.

Soooooo, this is where I announce that I'm probably getting a cat this weekend. I'm torn as I did NOT want another pet. Dirty Pillows over here is breaking my heart. She's constantly crying and even tried to befriend a possum that was in the yard. She is hella lonely, and well I am too. I do not understand the insane attachment I had to Wicked and Evil, but I've been completely gutted by their passing. I think maybe New Baby Girl, might be what we both need. I meet her on Saturday at 1pm.

My house no matter if it was my mega-awesome condo, shit post-divorce ghetto apt, other mega-awesome condo, mega-awesome ParkLake house, or now my home in Clarksville has always felt like a home. This house has NOT been a home since the boys died. I hope that NBG will help Zoe and I feel at home again.

(she looks JUST like my boys did when they were babies)

You'll know if I get her.

Belly Dancing -- The Next Thing I'm Up To

I've been researching local instructors and I finally decided on one. There is another I'm quite interested in as well and I may take lessons from her too, but I'm very happy with my choice for my beginners' class. The next session starts the first week of February. I like my new teacher because she performs a lot and I read that she encourages her students to perform as well which is what I want to do. It scares me, but it excites me. I need to get out there, and I think this is what will do it for me. I've been trying to follow youtube videos and I have a dvd, but I need an instructor to sort me out because I do not do well with seeing someone on a video do something and then trying to replicate it. I get all turned around. Despite that, I feel so much sexier the little bit I've been doing. I can't imagine how I will feel once I get it down and eventually with the costumes and all.

Va-va-va-VOOM!!!! :)

Ricardo Montalflan

So my friend and I are playing our outrageous comments game and after my "Errol Flynn had a custard fetish" he one-upped me with "Ricardo Montalbán was addicted to flan". To which I retorted Ricardo Flantalbán. Then that got my shitty photo-shop juices flowing and the attached "art" was the result.

You never know when the Muse will strike a glancing blow.






This one I call "Khan Can Hasz Flan"

Polygamy: I Can Dig It

Every thing ends. Some endings are more regrettable than others. I'm a bit sad that "Big Love" is coming to an end, but they did have a better run than some other phenomenal shows (ie: "Deadwood" and "Carnivale").

The Hendrickson Family/Families have really opened up my thinking as to what is family. I used to be extremely judgmental about "alternative" lifestyles, but who the hell am I to judge? If it works for you, then it works.

"Big Love" has made their version of polygamy down-right appealing. Each wife has her own house, they help each other out, they are well taken care of financially and are even helped in getting their own ventures going, and they get Bill on certain days and then have days to themselves. That is NOT unappealing to me. Seriously, I really think I could do it. Too bad the true face of polygamy is more like what they are so desperately trying to distance themselves from.

Ohhh, well. I'll live vicariously through Bill, Barb, Nicki, and Margene for one final season.

January: A Month Full of Anniversaries Some of Which I've Already Forgotten

Well, Hell. I missed the Carla Chameleon Blog Anniversary. That was Thursday. I was pretty busy Thursday so I blame it on that. That and that I truly thought it was tomorrow. Whoops. So Happy One Year of me ranting, raving, over-sharing, under-sharing, and at times really entertaining some people who cop to reading this silliness.

Today is the anniversary of moving into this house that I just HAD to have. I like the neighborhood, but I'm a bit more ehhh about the house. It's either in the mid 60's or high 80's temperature wise, the rolling floors and cockeyed everything are losing their charm, and let's face it. My boys died here. So there is definitely a pall cast over this place. I massively hate moving, but I'm contemplating the whole "sell every thing" idea that was to go with "runaway to Key West" and just drastically downsize and move into a studio/1bdrm for 1/2 the price. I mean, aside from the entertaining, I don't need a whole house. If I could end up saving between $5k-8k a year, it might be worth getting over my hatred of moving.

What else? Well Tony (ex-husband) will be 45 on the 26th. No idea why I'm thinking about that so much this year. This will be his 3rd birthday I've missed since age 18, I didn't much think of the others. This one I am. Probably because I would have really done it up grand, like I did his 40th, which he got pissed of at me for. What a dick. Glad you're always almost a decade older than me!!!

Then there is the 31st. That's my 3 Year Austinversary. Thrrrreeeeeee Years. I really try to assess if I like Austin. I don't think I do, but I fucking love the people I've met here. I don't think I can leave because of them. Damn it, Carla, this why you don't get attached!!!!

Twins and Mustache Rides

I have a love/you scare the fuck out of me relationship with twins. Since I was young I said that I'd LOVE to have twins. One boy (FutureBaby Max) and one girl (FutureBaby Max's Unnamed Sister). One pregnancy, two kids, and let's call it a day -- I'm done. For whatever reason I don't find male/female twins that scary.

Yesterday, I saw the most adorable twins at my chiropractor's office. They were adorably dressed, well behaved, would periodically say things to me that I didn't understand, and almost made me forget my twin fear. In fact, I thought I might be having a breakthrough in twin-fear. Then they did it. Twin A is looking at Twin B. I can see both their faces. Nothing happened. Twin B all of a sudden does a semi-maniacal laugh. As if Twin A said something. I think that Twin A DID say something. They clearly were connected on a level that most of us aren't. There are a few people in my life that I have felt a telepathic connection with, but that developed over time. Think of alllll the time they have to build that bond. If they wanted to, they could rise up.

I got my eyes on you, Twins!!!!

(I know a few of my friends are parents of twins, this is all in fun --- but I am watching your kids!!!) :P
______________________________________

This post was going to be all about Mustache Rides, but I can't find Alec Baldwin's SNL Mustache Rides clip so I had to switch gears. It's a shame though. Baldwin, "Gentlemen, I see the future --- Mustache Rides." A friend and I have been making up funny stories about famous guys with mustaches and it all revolves around MR's and the trouble they get in.

Ex: "Sam Elliot almost hospitalized a woman after giving her a Mustache Ride.".

Christ, we're fun.

(I dont' know who this dude in the pic is, but he's a "Twin" and has a mustache. -- SCORE)

Still Aries After All These Years

Soooo, I see there has been a shake up for many with the revelations of the 13th zodiac sign. Not for me. April 18 - Still Aries. Instead of being on the Aries/Taurus cusp it's the Pisces/Aries cusp. Whatever. Still ARIES!!! Which is good because I thought of getting the symbol tattooed at one time. I didn't, but I could have. That would have sucked a bit.

My sister is an Ophiuchus.


Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.

Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.

Pisces: March 11-April 18.

Aries: April 18-May 13.

Taurus: May 13-June 21.

Gemini: June 21-July 20.

Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.

Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.

Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.

Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.

Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.

Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.

Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

Pecan Maple Nut Coffee: Do it. Do it.

OMG, I just met up with my pusher (Fresh Plus) and I have a fresh stash of Lola Savannah's Pecan Maple Nut. It's AMAZING. The guy who was checking me out went "WHOOOOAAA!!!" when he was attempting to put in in the bag. He took it back out and had to smell it a couple times. It's that good. I also learned that is what that little round thing on the coffee is for. I never knew that. Since learning this I have the coffee here on my desk and I have squeezed and sniffed it about a dozen times.

So if you want a superlative (that's right) coffee experience, you should try it. When you grind the coffee and make it, your house smells like it for hours.

Do it!!!

First Good Thing in 2011 Happened!!!!

I can stop hating my loved ones. Verizon (my immortal beloved) is getting the iPhone!!!! I'm going to wait a bit as BB is still going strong and hello she's red. That's going to be hard to give up. She matches my car exactly. I don't think the iPhone does that, but I can sacrifice my love of red for the cool phone. I want to talk to people who get an iPhone with Verizon first, but I'm almost ready to drink that sweet, sweet KOOL-aid.


Also my shows old and new are restarting/starting. Life is starting to get better :P

"Time Isn't Holding Us, Time Isn't After Us"

I have liked "Talking Heads" since I was a kid, but I never got them till this past year. I thought I did. I was wrong. (Gotta be the mid-life crisis) I probably still don't fully get them, but several of their songs really make sense to me now.






and no it's not Talking Heads' version, but I LOVE Miles Fisher's "American Psycho" take on the song

Who Killed Tangerine

What you gonna choose the poison or the knife?
Lived with crazy paving all your life
Something in her eyes just tells you no
Hoping conversation starts to flow

Stuck inside a wheel inside a wheel
Wondering everyday is it all for real?
Aching every time a cold wind blows
My love don’t fear the mighty rose

Tangerine, Tangerine
What you gonna choose the poison or the knife?
Lived with crazy paving all your life
Something in her eyes just tells you no
Hoping conversation starts to flow

Stuck inside a wheel inside a wheel
Wondering everyday is it all for real?
Aching every time a cold wind blows
My love don’t fear the mighty rose

Tangerine, Tangerine

What you gonna do when the old man bleeds you dry
Step down from the plane and pluck the eye
Slide in deeper, closer to the bone
Don’t you just wish your heart was made of stone

Waxing like an old cracked forty-five
Counting out the ways you can stay alive
Placed in body bags and filled with stones
My love won’t bleed her waves are foam

And when you think it’s all over
It’s not over, it’s not over

Who killed Tangerine? Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen

And when you think it’s all over
It’s not over, it’s not over

A Pocket Full of Mumbles Such Are Promises

Oh my friends, I'm living this song more than I ever thought I would. Some of you are too. Big hugs to you.

Remember, "The Fighter STILL REMAINS"!!!






I am just a poor boy
Though my story's seldom told
I have squandered my resistance
For a pocket full of mumbles such are promises
All lies and jests
Still a man hears what he wants to hear
And disregards the rest

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
In the company of strangers
In the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters
Where the ragged people go
Looking for the places only they would know

Lie la lie ...

Asking only workman's wages
I come looking for a job
But I get no offers,
Just a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome
I took some comfort there

Lie la lie ...

Then I'm laying out my winter clothes
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the New York City winters aren't bleeding me
Bleeding me, going home

In the clearing stands a boxer
And a fighter by his trade
And he carries the reminders
Of ev'ry glove that layed him down
Or cut him till he cried out
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the fighter still remains

Lie la lie ...

"Presidente? Presidente?"

I did an awesome photoshop of him in a beautiful meadow. I think that's where he was in his mind. I need to find that picture.

Men!! Keep Your Crazy Bitches in Line!!

Ohhhh, my goodness is youtube the gift that just keeps giving. I've been all over the map tonight, but this one I think really sums it all up. Men need to get off drugs and put their mean, crazy women in their places. Sooooo great!!!

"He was just not the sort of person who would wind up in a landfill,"

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, my God. This is bar none the best sentence I've read in a news article in...well...perhaps EVER. I loved it for all the thoughts it provoked. First thought, "WHO is the sort of person who WOULD wind up in a landfill.". Then as my mind was flooded with all those I know who likely could end up that way, I moved on to the next thought. How little people know about other people. In this case, it was his attorney so the entire statement is full of shit, but it does amaze me at times how little we all know about each other. The little and the big things that we do that we never tell. Sometimes I like to pick out the LEAST likely suspect and spin a tale of criminal madness. I probably don't even come close to what they have done.

You never know anyone except yourself...and a lot of people don't seem to know themselves that well.

Here's the article with the AWESOME quote. (Ohhh, and I'm not making light of his dead - just the absurd comment)

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20110103/ap_on_re_us/us_federal_official_landfill

What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?

So I'm climbing up on three years since leaving my life and love behind. At what point does it stop hurting? I'm starting to think that it never will. I meet so many people who are somewhere mid-heartbreak and I don't feel like I see that they are moving on much either. They are at least able to move on to other people. I want to be able to do that too, I think that about 70% of the time. The rest I think, "Why the fuck do I want to open myself up to more of this pain?"

That's it. Just what's on my mind. I woke up with Steve Perry singing in my head and off I went.

It's a Beautiful Day in Hypochondria

I woke up this morning, my side hurt and I had to talk myself out of "I think I have cracked ribs". You be surprised how much I think I'm either critically injured or have an out-and-out disease. Meanwhile, I'll outlive all of you, whilst almost dying the whole time. : P

Yesterday's Burning Bowl Party was AMAZING!!!!!!! So much awesomeness. Good friends (old and new), good food all the traditional New Year Good Luck foods, but with a Spanish twist. Did you know you are to eat 12 grapes? That was the one from last night that I hadn't heard before. I think I learn a new one each year. Last year I learned about black-eyed peas. I had never heard that one prior to NY 2010. So the burning bowl...we wrote down all that we wanted to release this year (I filled my sheet of paper) and then we each burned ours. It was kind of interesting how some wanted to burn and others didn't. Mine burned just fine!!! Then we wrote down all that we want to manifest this year. Again, I filled the page. Then we put them in an envelope and addressed them to ourselves. I forgot to ask about that. I'm assuming our hostess will be mailing them to us at some point in the year. That will be awesome!! We also had a Tarot reading from another friend of mine. That was awesome, but I have a bit forgotten what my reading was (stupid, yummy wine).

So today I begin my detox of green smoothies. I actually began last week, but I was so busy retoxing that I'm pretty sure all good was negated. I'll be glad when I am a few days in. I've been eating like a maniac since Thanksgiving. Really need to reign it in. That, downsizing the household, and jobhunting will be high on the list for the next month.

Handle me with care, 2011.