Brian Eno & David Byrne - Home

BE & DB did the soundtrack to "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" and it's AWESOME.

I love this song, especially now that my house is starting to feel like home again. :)

I'm Going to Die Alone...

Okay, I know we all are, but you know what I mean. Today is my grandparents' 59th anniversary. They are THEE perfect couple. They are best friends who have been together through some big ups and big downs and I envy them. I want that for myself. I thought I had that, but I didn't. I want my best friend to spend the next 59 years with.

I want everything Howard's singing about. HE GET'S IT!!!

Never a Frown with Golden Brown

Ohhh my god this cat is what I needed. She's amazing. Every time I hold her, I feel myself healing a little more. She has my eyes, they're a golden brown color (cannot get a pic of them as yet). I suspect that will change, but for right now it's awesome!!!

I named her MimiNoir, but she could be named Mini-Mi because if Evil crafted a mini-clone of himself it would be her. That's why I got her. Her looks, but I'll be damned if she doesn't have his mannerisms down too. So many things that only Evil would do, she has down. It's amazing.

Her cry is heartbreaking. It's going to be hard leaving her the next four days. Glad I have Friday off. :)

The Lightning Seeds - You Showed Me

The Thing with the Guy at the Place...

This will be right up there as possibly one of my vaguest posts to date as I can't talk about what I need to talk about, but I'm going to allude to several things so that should be fun for you because you'll get NOTHING out of this, but I'll get a bit of a catharsis from the whole thing.

So I have questions that HAUNT me. Two predominate questions. One man knows the answer to at least Question #1, and I GREATLY suspect he knows the answer to Question #2. I may or may not have been married to said man (it was the former). The issues surrounding both Questions 1&2 did irreparable damage to my life at the time and still to this day has a major effect on me. I'd trade something of great value if I could ever get these two questions answered, but I have zero trust in the person who could answer them. It would at least explain a bit why I had to endure what I did. I think about this every day. Every fucking day.

I hope he does too.

The whole incident always makes me think of this song. "Secrets Everywhere, Dirty Games, Nah-Nah-Nah-Nahh...."

Dirty Pillows

My best friend and I quote movies to each other all the time. "Carrie" has provided a us a few favorites "They'll all laugh at you" and "I can see your dirty pillows" are in frequent rotation. I've started calling Zoe "Dirty Pillows", because she trips out on me each week when I wash the pillow cases on her pillows (yes, she has her own). She's been in rare form since the passing of her brothers. She has started jumping in the tub before I get in to take a shower to prevent me from leaving. I outsmarted her the other day, so I thought, and I got in and started the shower. I'll be damned if she didn't jump right in with me. She is not handling being alone well.

Soooooo, this is where I announce that I'm probably getting a cat this weekend. I'm torn as I did NOT want another pet. Dirty Pillows over here is breaking my heart. She's constantly crying and even tried to befriend a possum that was in the yard. She is hella lonely, and well I am too. I do not understand the insane attachment I had to Wicked and Evil, but I've been completely gutted by their passing. I think maybe New Baby Girl, might be what we both need. I meet her on Saturday at 1pm.

My house no matter if it was my mega-awesome condo, shit post-divorce ghetto apt, other mega-awesome condo, mega-awesome ParkLake house, or now my home in Clarksville has always felt like a home. This house has NOT been a home since the boys died. I hope that NBG will help Zoe and I feel at home again.

(she looks JUST like my boys did when they were babies)

You'll know if I get her.

Belly Dancing -- The Next Thing I'm Up To

I've been researching local instructors and I finally decided on one. There is another I'm quite interested in as well and I may take lessons from her too, but I'm very happy with my choice for my beginners' class. The next session starts the first week of February. I like my new teacher because she performs a lot and I read that she encourages her students to perform as well which is what I want to do. It scares me, but it excites me. I need to get out there, and I think this is what will do it for me. I've been trying to follow youtube videos and I have a dvd, but I need an instructor to sort me out because I do not do well with seeing someone on a video do something and then trying to replicate it. I get all turned around. Despite that, I feel so much sexier the little bit I've been doing. I can't imagine how I will feel once I get it down and eventually with the costumes and all.

Va-va-va-VOOM!!!! :)