Panic

I had my first panic attack when I was at least 8 if not younger. Had my most current one today.

Better now. Scary each time though. Always makes me think of this song.

Maybe I'm just scared of gas prices :P :)


Oasis - Gas Panic (album version)



What tongueless ghost of sin crept through my curtains?
Sailing on a sea of sweat on a stormy night
I think he don't got a name but I can't be certain
And in me he starts to confide

That my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And if you hear me tap on your window
Better get on your knees and pray panic is on the way

My pulse pumps out a beat to the ghost dancer
My eyes are dead and my throat's like a black hole
And if there's a god would he give another chance?
An hour to sing for his soul

Cos my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And when you hear me tap on yer window
Yer better get on your knees and pray panic is on the way

Cos my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And when you hear me tap on your window
Then you get on your knees and you better pray
Cos my family don't seem so familiar
And my enemies all know my name
And when you hear me tap on your window
Yer better get on your knees and pray
Panic is on the way
Panic is on the way

Rethinking It All

A week ago, I had no idea I'd be here. Here is I just signed the lease to a considerably smaller place with a considerably smaller price tag. I will have to get rid of most of what I have due to the diminished size, and let's be honest, I don't use even 85% of what I own. Some things have been a bit hard. A lot of sentimental things will be sacrificed. I think it will mostly be cathartic. I'm getting out of debt, and I'm excited about that. I have been comfortable (sort of) with debt as so many I know are in debt regardless of double income and even some rather large incomes. It's natural to live bigger when you can and I have. I didn't adjust to the fact I make a good $15k less in Texas than I did in FL. So it's time to alter things to correct this little problem.

I have to be brutally honest with myself (that's why I'm writing this, a measure of accountability). I have a bit of a problem that throwing money at DOES seem to temporarily fix. I need to break that in the next year or two because I don't want to hobble along in life like this.

So it's a bit of a sacrifice now, but the rewards on the other side will be great.

I like this pic I found because I think that sort of sums it up for me. I feel I have to spend, spend, spend. But I don't, don't, DON'T.

People who are true, love me for me. I don't have to buy their love.

And neither do you. ; )

Cadbury: Jesus Would Not Approve of Your Diminished Eggs

I'm very open-minded when it comes to religion. That'll happen when you spend your formative years in India, but I most identify with Christianity and specifically I really like Jesus. I don't know if he really existed or not (95% of my family does, but that's them), but I really dig him. I dig that he was pretty much chill, but lost his mind in the temple. That's my kind of Deity. Usually chill, but don't screw Him over. Hey, that's kinda like me!! I'm like Jesus!! :P

Anyway, I get excited about Easter. Sometimes it's on or around my birthday. Sometimes it's not. It's the week after my birthday this year. It's rather late. It usually means I get pastel colored gifts. That's cool. I still love "Miami Vice" so, YAY!

You know what else I like about Easter. The title and photo will have tipped you off, but yes The Cadbury Creme Egg. I love anything creme filled. Since this post has referenced our Lord and Savior, I'll not go further with that.

I was so excited to see Cadbury Eggs at the story yesterday that purchased TWO boxes of them. That's 8 eggs. That's 2/3 of a dozen!!! That's a lot of eggs, right? WRONG!!!!!

What happened, Cadbury? What did you do to our eggs? They are wee!!! I can pop this whole sucker in my mouth. That's not right!!! I am supposed to carefully bite off the top, lick the creme fondant (that's what it's called) out, and then eat the shell. It's a very specific procedure. Kind of like the proper procedure for eating an Oreo.

I did a bit of research and learned that Cadbury initially DENIED that the eggs were smaller and just said we have grown up. Damn it, Cadbury. Don't fuck with me like that. I already know I have man-hands. Don't make me feel like a total freak.

You shrunk these eggs. You know it, I know it, and Jesus knows it. Ohhhh, He SO knows it!!!

Pretty Much Sums It Up: Part II

Fleetwood Mac - Everywhere

Got a Predicament? Bread and Olive Oil Can Help

Have you been struck by a steady rush of one problem after another for the last six + months? ME TOO!!!!

The latest shit-storm descended today and after a good cry I turned to bread and olive oil and guess what? I'm as right as rain.

Calmed me right down. I remembered that this to shall pass.

I need it to pass quickly though because my ass cannot get any fatter.

"Dogtooth": If You've Seen This, Let's Form a Support Group

MOTHER OF GOD was this intense, but I loved it.

First of all, let the record show I was home schooled and I'm fine. I mean I'm not fine, but I don't fault home schooling. I finished high school at 14 and was in a well respected intense Honors program in college at 16 so home schooling - not all bad.

This movie is such an amazing way of showcasing why you should not shelter your children.

It's graphic, it's funny, it's disturbing.

It was a Best Foreign Pic Nominee at the Oscars this year. I can see why.

I kinda need to talk to someone about this.

Lose the Battle/Win the War

There are a few sayings that are like Gospel to me. This is one. I'm currently putting it into play yet again, by walking away from something for the moment only to reemerge stronger than ever. I'm going to drastically scale back my lifestyle and get debt-free by summer '12.

That will mean a lot of sacrifice, obviously. The biggest will be in my dwelling. I'm going to go from my 3 bedroom house to probably a studio maaaaaybe a 1 bedroom, but since I want to stay in my high-rent neighborhood that's really pushing it.

Tonight Reality slapped me in the face (when it should be slapping C. Sheen in the face) as I viewed my possible future abode.

TINY!!!!!!! But, I will be debt-free. ZERO DEBT. OWE NO MAN NOTHING.

I think I can lose this battle to win that war!!! : )